1. reblogged: quote-book

    I love the way you talk. Like spreading plaster nice and smooth. Has anybody ever told you that?
    — Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood | (via berrynice)

    (Source: quote-book)

     
  2. Dec 2nd, 2011     wordslolcute
  3. lilmisssunshinee:mooseaholic:hellahilarious:kelsiefag:-4l3xxx:pierce-effect:






THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

    lilmisssunshinee:mooseaholic:hellahilarious:kelsiefag:-4l3xxx:pierce-effect:

    THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

    AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

    AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

    AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

    AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

    WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

    BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

    THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

    AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

    AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

    I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

    THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

    WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

    WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

    I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

    HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

    UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

    TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

    HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

     
  4. Sep 29th, 2011     lovelolTHIS WILL BE USEFUL IN THE FUTUREgood stuffvulgarities
  5. lickypickystickyfree:

I am that little kid.

    lickypickystickyfree:

    I am that little kid.

    (Source: lickystickypickywe)

     
  6. Sep 27th, 2011     lolfunnypeople
  7. reblogged: blahbittyblah

    paancakes:

hahahahahhaogsokfjafkhajkhfa omg i haven’t laughed this much all day. omg. dying.

    paancakes:

    hahahahahhaogsokfjafkhajkhfa omg i haven’t laughed this much all day. omg. dying.

    (Source: futurecastiel)

     
  8. Aug 2nd, 2011     Harry Pottermoviescaptionlolfunny
  9. reblogged: sofapizza

    sofapizza:peetaah:


YOU DON’T PHASE ME

    sofapizza:peetaah:

    YOU DON’T PHASE ME

    (Source: peetaah)

     
  10. May 22nd, 2011     gifprofanityanimalsfunnylol
  11. reblogged: sungmo

     
  12. May 6th, 2011     pictureslolfunny
  13. reblogged: sofapizza

    sofapizza:

excuse me while i kiss the sky

    sofapizza:

    excuse me while i kiss the sky

     
  14. Apr 9th, 2011     lolfunnygif
  15. reblogged: ireoke

    hajima:(by call it sleep.)
     
  16. Apr 7th, 2011     wordslanguagelol
  17. reblogged: onelastlove

     
  18. Feb 15th, 2011     Amengood to knowlolfact
  19. reblogged: supersupha

    itzellovato:

    I don’t know how some people can sneeze like:

    When I sneeze, it’s like:

    (Source: arnvncbl)

     
  20. Dec 8th, 2010     lolfunny